So I’m trying out this whole “blog” thing again. I got to be uninspired last time, and I think it’s because you can’t just have a “vegan recipe” blog. There has to be substance. I want to feel like this is my main outlet where I can talk about my goals and how I’m feeling about life at any given moment. So here goes.
We may be 20 days into 2012, but I’m still figuring out what I want to accomplish this year. My boyfriend, Mark, of three-and-a-half years left the country to study abroad for four months a week and a half ago. I’d like to say that I’m really confident in who I am without him around, but that’s just not true. So the first few months of 2012 I am dedicating to figuring that out. I don’t really know how I’m going to do this, but it’s a learning process and I’m taking it one day at a time.
When Mark was around, I was always dropping everything to hang out with him. I would cancel plans and work out my schedule so that if he was free to see me, I would be free to see him too. Now that I’m no longer doing this, I’m trying to compile a list of things I want to accomplish before he gets back. And they aren’t things that will be a surprise for him or anything for his benefit. I want them all to be new experiences or goals that will help me figure out who I am and what I want out of life.
Tentative 2012 Goals:
1. Get back into shape. I go through ups and downs with exercise. I’ll be really good about getting my butt to the gym and working hard for anywhere from a week to 3 months, and then somehow I fall off the wagon. It’s that one day where I had planned to go, I wrote out my exact workout in my planner as usual, but then something got in the way. I think that before, Mark was sometimes this roadblock. I would drop everything to hang out with him, including my hour at the gym. Other times, it would be school work or just plain laziness keeping from working out. I need to develop a way to ensure that I get to the gym and don’t find excuses not to go. I think that by breaking this large and daunting goal into smaller and more manageable goals, I may be able to break my cycle. For instance, I’d like to be able to run 5 miles. I also want to increase my flexibility- it’s honestly embarrassing how un-flexible I am right now. Saying that I can’t touch my toes would be an understatement. So I want to be able to do a split. I’d also like to be better about weight training. If I can, I want to either lift or take a class that involved building muscle 2 or 3 times a week. I think that the combination of these three goals will lead to well-rounded overall fitness.
2. Reconnect with and get closer with my friends. Another part of my life that was always sacrificed and put on the back burner for my relationship was my friendships. I’ve always been terrible at keeping in touch with everyone, regardless of how close I am with them. I just don’t like to interact with people if I’m not talking to them face to face. The real problem with this is that in order to make plans to see someone face to face, I need to be willing to text or call them and make a conscious effort to be friends with them and make plans.
3. Find an outlet to express how I’m feeling on a daily basis. This is where this beautiful blog comes in. I considered journaling for a while, but I think that something where I can have fun and post pictures and fun things instead of wallowing in self pity would be better for me. Which brings me to my last goal.
4. Have a positive outlook. I’ve always been a professional-level complainer. I don’t look for things to complain about, a complaint is just the first thought that usually comes to mind. I also tend to make things bigger than they are. I think about whatever problems I may be facing to the point where they become the only thing that matters to me. For example, Mark leaving. It sucks, it really does, but I want to be able to look on the bright side of this experience. I think that having the time to achieve my goals in one positive in itself.
Well, there’s my openness and honesty. What are your goals for 2012? How do you keep a positive outlook on life?